Laura Merleau
Laura Merleau

Expanded Awareness

For the moment you refuse to
Look at any of the darker
Possibilities – the possibility
That the nonlinear logic
Of this spiritual state is
Going to end up costing
More than $50,000  annually,
Since it’s only a sign, a
Portent the tumor’s rebounding,
Pressing on that spot on
Your brain where the devil
Appears to control the
Bandwidth to hell and
Angels intercede only when
You turn your head to
The left and beg for one
More chance at a glimpse
Of heaven in the form
Of electrical currents running
Through your skull past
The hospital and up the
Church steeple straight
Into the rain come Friday
When you won’t suppose
You’re actually dead yet
Suspended three feet above
The bed it seems you’re
Never coming down, never
Reaching into darker
Possibilities, darker figures
Lying still in the corners
Of your nodding shadow

Inflammation Response

Blame it on neurological
Malfunctioning – the tumor
Pressing on the spot in
Your brain where love
Consumes your soul so
You feel as if knives could
Be stuck in you and
You’d feel no pain

This excessive ecstasy
Will be the death of
You someday, but what
A way to go, your
Heart brimming over
With delight in any
And all things, even

Sun-sized stars which
Come to you in visions
Containing very little
Pain despite the super-
Brightness concentrating
On the date of your
Departure, which God’s
Already decided yet

Your purpose in what
Remains of your life
Has shifted completely
From where it used
To be all those years
Ago when fear instead
Of love ruled the way
You didn’t live, so
Now you can’t help

Yourself – you go on
Sorting through large
Numbers of stars, seeing
The light reflected back
Upon the earth where
Everything swims in an
Explosive chemical signature